Five Ways to Get Anyone to Do Anything You Want

Many years ago I earned an MBA at The Wharton School, but the best course I took in my two years there wasn't about business. It was an education course taught by Professor Charles Dwyer in the School of Education.

He taught me how to get anyone to do anything you want, and now I will teach it to you. Everything in this column comes from Professor Dwyer.

Disclaimer….

This isn't a Machiavellian tool for manipulating people or causing them harm. You can't turn employees into mindless robots, and you can't persuade a person to buy into a scam.

You could, however, use it to get someone to accept your reasonable offer on a house, or to persuade a potential client to sign a big deal on a service that will actually serve them well.

The System...

Dwyer's system has five steps. If you follow each step, the system works. If you skip a few, you are wasting your time and effort.

1.) Does the person have the ability to do what I want?

You can't persuade a 9-month-old toddler to water ski, so the first step is to do a reality check whether the other person has enough knowledge, competence and self-confidence to do what you wish.

Some people are deathly afraid of public speaking. You won't be able to convince such a person to give a dazzling keynote speech to 1,000 people.

Likewise, lots of people fail not due to a lack of confidence, but due to a lack of ability. You have to actually learn medicine before you operate, right?

I once spent an entire year trying to motivate, educate and persuade a manager who worked for me to do things my way. Eventually I realized he just couldn't do it; he lacked the judgment and confidence to do the job I wanted him to do.

So your first step is to pick someone who actually has the ability to do what you want them to do.

2.) Does the person perceive the value they will get by doing what I want?

The person is going to be thinking: What's in it for me? If I do what you want, will I get enough stock options to retire at age 27? Or maybe my interests are simpler... I just want credit for my achievements, instead of having my boss take all the credit like the last 22 times I did something he asked.

You need to make clear to the person what's in it for them.

3.) Does the person think the odds are very high that #2 will come true?

You can promise people stock options all day long, but if no one thinks your startup has a chance of succeeding, the stock options will be perceived as worthless.

Lots of wannabe persuaders fail because they skip this step. They say all sorts of things to persuade others to do something—"you'll be a hero"... "you'll get rich"... "your peers will be so grateful"—but no one believes them.

It's not enough to promise benefits. Focus on making certain that the other person thinks the probability is high that they will get the benefits you are promising.

4.) Can I lower the perceived cost to the person of doing want I want?

If to help you all I have to do "like" your Facebook page, my costs are pretty low and I will probably help you. If, on the other hand, I have to build your Facebook page, my costs are high and I might hesitate.

Thus a key question becomes how you can lower the other person's costs of doing what you want. For example, you can do this by asking others to help as well, or by giving the other person step-by-step instructions.

5.) Can I lower the perceived risk to the person of doing what I want?

There are several ways to get others to help you with a startup. One is to ask them to spend some nights and weekends helping you out. Another is to ask them to quit their job and join you.

Which option has the lowest perceived risk? The first does, and thus you are much more likely to get others to accept such an offer, because their risk is lower.

Notice also that I said "perceived" risk, not actual risk. We all see the world through our own set of beliefs and attitudes, and to understand how others perceive risk you must do your best to look at things through their eyes.

You may be an impulsive person talking to a cautious one, and "Let's do this, it will be fun" won't be nearly enough information to persuade a cautious type to take what they perceive to be a huge risk.

After graduating, I wrote these five steps down on a little card and carried it in my wallet for over ten years. When I was 30 and had to tell the owner of my company he needed to invest $250,000 in my project instead of the $50,000 he expected, I took out the card. Time and again, in tough personal and professional situations, I took out the card.

It works. See for yourself.

I am an executive coach who doesn't take much of your time or money, but seeks to make a lasting difference in your life. Set up an introductory call with me.