Feed Your Elephant First

by Bruce Kasanoff

The best advice is useless unless you actually follow it. Most people understand precisely what they must do to improve their life and/or strengthen their career, but yet they still don't do it.

If all you needed was wisdom, then self-improvement would work like this...

You: I’d like to lose 10 pounds.

Me: Eat less and exercise more.

(Three weeks later…)

Me: How much weight did you lose?

You: 10 pounds! Thank you!

Me: You’re welcome.

Life doesn’t work like this because—like most people—you probably have a remarkable ability to routinely forget the things that matter most to you, such as:

• Surpassing your business goals

• Being unflaggingly competent

• Demonstrating remarkable growth and grit

• Being in great shape, physically and emotionally

At this moment, you may understand my “eat less and exercise more” advice, but when you’ve had two drinks in a restaurant and are having a wonderful time with your friends, it’s nearly impossible to turn down desert. At times like this, you need something else that motivates you more—much more—than the lure of a sweet treat.

Try this: Imagine a 12-foot tall elephant that weighs over 10,000 pounds. It eats about 300 pounds of food a day, is very intelligent, and has an excellent memory.

If an elephant was following you around, you would not forget it. Why do you forget the right things to do each day?

Think of it this way: Every day you have to get up and feed an elephant... every day you have to get up and feed your dreams.

Imagine that one day you forget to feed your elephant, but you somehow still managed to survive the day. How comfortable will you be in the future, knowing that your 10,000-pound companion knows that you are not to be trusted?

Your dreams, aspirations and top goals are no less important than an elephant in your yard. If you forget to feed them, someday they will come back and exact revenge.

Here are eight ways to never, ever forget your elephant:

Make a list of what matters most to you. Put everything that matters on this list, such as being a loving spouse, raising healthy children, exploring the world, founding your own company, becoming Vice President, or retiring by the age of 52. If it's not on your list, it simply doesn't matter.

Organize your list: Depending on how your mind works, organize your list by one or more categories (work vs. home, or short vs long term, etc.). Don't rush this process. The more time you spend organizing your list, the deeper each item will sink into your mind.

Make your list pretty: Add pictures or nice fonts. Space it properly. You might print it on special paper.

Keep it handy: Keep a copy at work and at home. Add one to your wallet, purse, gym locker, workout bag, journal, and/or computer screen. Make it impossible to ignore.

Invest in your list: Spend enough money on your list that it hurts a bit. Have it engraved into metal, or transformed into a painting. Hire an artist or craftsman to help. Put your priorities on a stage so special you will never forget them.

Enlist support: Match each of your top priorities with other people who either share the same priority or are willing to support yours. If you have a significant other, use the same wording to capture your shared priorities. Do the same with colleagues and vendors. Approach other community members. Find a mentor, or volunteer to be one.

Keep score: Depending on the nature of each priority, set a specific cycle to review your progress. Every week or month should work for most of them.

Be scared... be very scared: My favorite Far Side cartoon pictures an elephant in a trench coat and fedora; he's lurking in a dark alley as his target approaches. I love the cartoon so much I once took the time to redraw it:

This is your life. You only get one shot, and it's ridiculously easy to miss. Don't forget that elephant, because he's not going to forget you.

I am an executive coach who doesn't take much of your time or money, but seeks to make a lasting difference in your life. Set up an introductory call with me.