Never Use “Being Yourself” As An Excuse

“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.”
― Bernard M. Baruch

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”
― Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Always be yourself, express yourself, have faith in yourself, do not go out and look for a successful personality and duplicate it.”
― Bruce Lee

“You are you. Now, isn't that pleasant?”
― Dr. Seuss

You can hardly read anything these days without coming across another article or quote imploring you to be true to yourself. But what if - up until now - the real you is self-centered, negative, hateful, lazy, unfocused, or otherwise flawed?

In fact, I know more than a few people who justify their erratic or ugly actions by saying they are being true to themselves.

"Being yourself" is not nearly high enough to aim.

Instead, I'd like to suggest that each of us needs to aspire to constantly strive to be a better person than we have been in the past. If I met the 20-year-old version of me, I would find him to be unfocused, undisciplined, and pretty ignorant.

"Being yourself" is little more than a crutch, until you set high standards for yourself.

"Being yourself" shouldn't be an excuse for not having the strength or persistence to keep pushing ahead.

I've written many times about the power of authenticity, and how the most attractive thing in the world is a person who is comfortable in his or her own skin. But my unstated assumption is that such people have already matured enough to understand that life is about helping others and being willing to work hard to for worthwhile endeavors.

"Being yourself" should never be an excuse for cruelty, selfishness, hatred, greed or heartlessness. It's not okay to be an authentic jerk; that sort of authenticity will only cause pain and suffering.

In truth, I know that authentic jerks will not be reading this article; they would never respond to my headline, and they lack the self-insight to consider the possibility that their way might not be the best way. If you've gotten this far, I know that YOU are a person who cares about others, who is persistent, and who is thoughtful.

To you I say: absolutely be yourself!