Are You Self-Aware?

Recently on LinkedIn, I conducted two polls. One asked about internal self-awareness, which is how we see our own values, thoughts and emotions. The other asked about external self-awareness, which is our ability to understand how we come across to others. Here are the results:

The results from the first poll did not surprise me, but they may surprise you. 78% of respondents said they were adept at internal self-awareness. To the contrary, author Dr. Tasha Eurich says that "even though most people believe they are self-aware, self-awareness is a truly rare quality: We estimate that only 10%–15% of the people we studied actually fit the criteria."

In other words, most of the people who responded to my internal self-awareness poll overstated their capabilities.

The results from my other poll did surprise me. 65% admitted they do not accurately grasp how others perceive them. This is significantly closer to the 10 to 15% levels Dr. Eurich observes.

Taken together, my poll results suggest that when it comes to self-awareness, most people have more work to do than they realize. But, as Rachel Waldron wrote in response to one of my polls, "If you're not self-aware, how would you know it?"

The odds are roughly 9 in 10 that you're not self-aware. So it's prudent to act as though that's the case.

Writing in the Harvard Business Review, Dr. Eurich offers a surprisingly quick step we can all take to improve our self-awareness. She suggests we replace "why" self-awareness questions with "what" questions.

"Why are people so critical of me?" and other similar questions aren't effective because the correct answers can be quite complicated, and we have so many biases. Eurich points out that highly self-aware people are much more likely to ask "what" questions.

For example, it could be productive to ask, "What are steps could I take to be more effective?" You might also ask, "Based on past results, what are warning signs I am starting to get anxious and burned out?"

Most importantly, to the greatest extent possible, surround yourself with supportive but frank people who are willing to give you accurate and constructive feedback. Then—this is the important past—listen to them. Even when it hurts.