What My Coaching Friends Taught Me About Flourishing

by Bruce Kasanoff

Flourishing, in the eyes of three of my cherished friends, means to live well as you raise up the people around you.

Theirs is a two-part definition, one that becomes far more enriching than the traditional "I'm doing well, thank you" understanding of the word.

To be a tad analytical, it looks like this:

It's not just rising up individually; it's also bringing all the people around you up. Think we, not me.

In this issue, I am reluctant to use any labels, including "book" or "leader" or "friends", for fear that you will miss the depth of my passion for the expanded concept of flourishing that Marshall, Scott and Jacquelyn have created.

Years ago, I became burnt out from incongruent authors publishing mediocre leadership books, so much so that I couldn't even spend five minutes in a bookstore.

Over time, those negative emotions passed, as I started to meet people who had a much deeper approach to life as well as business. These three spectacular individuals embody the other end of the spectrum, where love and kindness meet community. When they talk about flourishing, it is with the intention to describe the way they actually live.

Marshall Goldsmith has uplifted more people than I can possibly comprehend. I've been fortunate to spend extended periods of time watching how he interacts with people of all ages, backgrounds, interests and beliefs. In a sentence, he lifts people up. How does he do this? (More on this in a minute...)

Jacquelyn Lane is an old soul with a big heart. She is driven and incredibly passionate, but also compassionate. Her goal is 100% to elevate the people around her.

Scott Osman has taught me that it is possible to be a spiritual being who successfully inhabits the practical world of business and everyday life. He is the opposite of superficial, and yet he is 100% accepting of each person for who they are, right here and right now.

It's important to me that you think of these three as congruent human beings, rather than "authors" or "coaches" or "leaders". Such labels might cause you to miss the rarity that this unique group of individuals at different stages of their lives would come together in such a superb collaboration.

Their book, Becoming Coachable, explains how they flourish, in the most expansive definition of that word. It's a personal book that includes three voices, not just one blended voice, and that gives each author plenty of room to share how they move through the world.

Much more importantly, it explains how you can flourish. In a gentle and easy-to-digest manner, the book explains the difference between traditional definitions of success versus one that is centered around the concept of flourishing together.

For example, this is how they contrast the more me-centered mindset of a rising individual with the other-centered mindset of someone who wants to lift up the people they touch:

As the title implies, the book uses the practice of working with a coach to enable leaders to grow and flourish along with their teams, but the lessons within apply to every human being, whether you are a "leader" or a "student" or "retired" or "not sure".

One of the most important lessons I've learned in life is that people can only accept guidance when they are ready to do so. For that reason, I'm going to end here: if you find this concept of flourishing appealing, you should grab a copy of their book and thoroughly digest it.

If not, no worries. I will still do my best to lift you up next week, because my definition of flourishing definitely includes you.

I am an executive coach who doesn't take much of your time or money, but seeks to make a lasting difference in your life. Set up an introductory call with me.