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My job is to listen to people. That's the only way I can communicate what they have to say. In other words, my success depends strongly on empathy.
Yours does, too, but you may not realize it yet.
Imagine that you have a subordinate, colleague, boss or friend who needs help... and that you have the necessary knowledge and skills to help them. Without empathy, you will be unable to make a difference.
Empathy reveals whether the person...
believes that what you have to offer is likely to be of use to them
has the capability to do what you suggest
is calm and focused enough to absorb information right now
For example, an entrepreneur just told me how he spent a Tuesday afternoon telling one of his managers how to sell more effectively; on Wednesday morning she came in and quit. In retrospect, he realized that the very idea of selling terrified her.
I give a fair number of speeches, and am always grateful when my client understands that it takes preparation and focus right before getting up in front of, say, 300 people. The most empathetic clients ask what you need, supply it, and then give you room to prepare. Guess what? They get the best results.
The greater your ability to understand what another person's experience is, the more successful you will be. Empathy makes you a better friend, leader, partner, and colleague.
Empathy makes it possible for you to spot a person who succeeds because she works twice as hard as everyone else, even though she tries to hide this fact. Once you grasp this reality, you will understand why she does not like to speak off the cuff, because her performance depends on advance preparation.
Empathy will enable you to better understand the challenges of a co-worker with a disabled child or a parent in decline. You will learn that the person isn't bored or disinterested, but simply exhausted from too little sleep and too much stress.
Despite knowing the importance of this quality, I am often disappointed by my own lack of empathy. If you and I are actively working together, I'm pretty empathetic. But in many cases, I fall into the out-of-sight, out-of-mind trap. I forget birthdays, or don't think to check in regularly with people who are close to me.
In fact, that's the main reason I wrote this piece. I'm not just reminding you to be more empathetic; I'm reminding myself, too.